Supporting My Partner Through It All

My wife had the injections, the scans, the collection and the transfer. I drove, waited, and made a lot of dinners.

For a long time I thought my job was to stay positive. It turns out that relentless optimism is quite hard to be around when you're the one whose body isn't cooperating. "It'll work next time" wasn't reassuring — it was one more thing she had to manage.

What she actually wanted was for me to say that it was rubbish, and to sit with her in it.

The practical stuff mattered more than I expected. Knowing the medication schedule so she didn't have to hold it alone. Handling the calls to the clinic. Taking the day off for collection without being asked.

I also, eventually, talked to someone myself. I'd been treating my own feelings about it as illegitimate, on the grounds that I wasn't the one going through it. That wasn't true, and pretending otherwise wasn't doing either of us any favours.